Mom quotes

I have intermittently collected quotes from my mom in the past, as she so often comes out with so many memorable utterances. This is a project that I realized quite recently should become a more regular focus. To start, I offer one of my favorites to date:

As she stands considering a flyer posted on the bulletin board by the registers at the grocery store, she questions, "what's this about confederate coupons?" I ask, "you mean, counterfeit coupons?" before making some crack related to worthless Civil War era currency (I never said I wasn't both a nerd and a smart ass). She proceeds to laugh and laugh as she always does following one of these misreading accidents that happens much too frequently since she refuses to wear her glasses.

Oh, my mom.